I like to place myself in space and time. I like to be aware of when and where I am during a particular event. I remember things that way. like a snapshot of time. Like when a friend tells me something and then brings it up days weeks or even months later, I can remember not only that friend telling me that thing, but exactly where I was at that time.
I remember once when I was maybe ten, I was over a friend’s house laying on her couch thinking how slowly time passed. I decided then that I would capture that moment and save it in my mind to think about. I think I did it just to see if I would remember it. I do now. I remember that moment quite clearly.
I am remembering last summer now. The fourth of July weekend especially. I can’t remember the last time I actually did anything for the fourth. Maybe I’d go hear fireworks somewhere, but no cook outs or any kind of family gathering. I remember how sad I was, both for what I didn’t have, and what I couldn’t have. I remember that feeling of loss and change I had. I remember I got sick and the pain I was in, how I would go to the doctor a week later for my leg finally.
I remember the usual boom boom of fireworks and one giant boom that turned out to be someone’s car.
I can’t believe It’s been a year, but I remember … about this time … I remember where and how I was. This year, I think those memories are a bit much.