Dear supermarket,
I am sorry. I am sorry for all the trouble we caused and the people we injured. I am very sorry to the people who were sideswiped by the child-driven cart, and I am especially sorry to the little old lady. We sincerely hope your arm heals well.
Yes, the adorable twins dancing the cha cha slide in the middle of the isle were ours. Don’t worry, no eggs were broken. And to those people who came after us, we know nothing of the now flat squushy cheeses; perhaps they came that way? Insodently we also have no idea why anyone would have imagined there were yelling monkey children climbing all over the outside of the building.
Oh, and about the bears …