Because there are rules here … there are rules!

Ok, I know that either makes no sense, or you’re now convinced that I’m crazy. For those of you who think I’m crazy, you clearly haven’t been paying attention. For those of you who don’t understand. . . read on.
I mean of course the facebook like button. It’s already an ambiguous enough button that can mean anything from I like what you said there, to I understand. Thus it probably makes entirely no sense to you for a person to make up their own rules about said button. These rules however are not of the ridiculous crazy person sort. These aren’t even rules I have to enforce, because people just get it. People–excuse me a lot of people–understand that there are some things you just don’t do.

Creep Liking

Ok, let’s face it, we all know the purpose of facebook is to stalk your friends. We’ve all done it, and facebook makes it so easy that if you tell me you never have, I’m not going to believe you. But there’s just something about leaving evidence of your stalking that makes it a little bit weird.
Tell me, when you get a notification on facebook saying that one of your friends just liked a status of yours from two years ago, what goes through your head? I think first how do you have so much time on your hands, and second why am I that interesting to you? To make it that much weirder, this happened to me back before the timeline made it easy to jump from year to year and month to month on any given person’s wall. If you wanted to see something I posted two years ago, you litterally had to scrol through everything I and everyone else ever posted to my wall since that point. I mean hey, if you really find me that fascinating, great, but I’d really just rather not know those things.

Confused Liking

Um, yeah. Inappropriate liking is one I think I get the most frustrated with. This would be one where you really don’t understand what the person is talking about, but you like the status anyway. Now, it’s one thing if you simply misunderstood the status and thought you knew what the person was talking about. I’ve definitely had that happen countless times., but if you like my status and then proceed to ask me what on earth I was talking about in that status, then you have no business liking it in the first place. How, I ask you dear reader, does that not make sense?

Friend Liking

Maybe I just find this one weird because I myself don’t do it, but liking a post I’m tagged in?
Say Suzie posts a status saying something like, “so much fun meeting Lyrikh for lunch today,” then tags me so that the post shows up on my wall. Now, if you know Suzie personally and like the status that’s cool, but if the only thing you know about Suzie is that she must be a friend of mine; why … just why would you like the status? Because I’m tagged in it? Because you like the idea that I had lunch with a friend you’ve never heard of? And what will Suzie think? That whole not knowing you thing might throw her off.

Birthday Post Liking

This is actually a new one that happened to me yesterday. I used to have a thing about wall post comments, as in whatever happened to posting your reply on my wall instead of as a comment to my original post, but now that facebook and my computer hate me, I am pretty much forced to wall post comment to anyone who writes on my wall. But liking someone elses birthday post to me? Is this the social media equivalent of signing your name to the present for the mutual friend when you had no plans to buy one yourself?
You do realize, that if someone writes happy birthday on my wall and you like that post, that does not count as a happy birthday, right? You’re aware of this?

There now, that wasn’t so unreasonable, was it? I’m sure there are a few more that have been committed, but I think that’s enough for you to get the point. Of course, if you’re liking everything I ever post for giggles, then that’s just annoying on its own.
Oh like button, where did we go wrong with you?