Posts from the ‘Zack and Suzie’ Category

How Not to Make Pizza Dough

A little late for the holliday, but I have for you a story!
Remember Zack and Suzie, that crazy couple I shared with you back in June? Well if you don’t, you can just follow the tags.
But for now, without further ado, I give you the story.

“So let me get this straight, your parents are having a get-away weekend, Robby’s going to a birthday party, and he won’t be back until tomorrow afternoon? What time does the party start?”
Suzie laughed. She and her best friend, Marcy Raindeer lay stretched across Marcy’s living room floor eating bowls of cereal and flipping through pages of a magazine, while Robby rode his bike up and down the street just outside.
“I say we have a movie night,” Suzie suggested.
“I’m game. What should we watch?”
“Blood and Guts 7.”
“No-o, We’ve seen Blood and Guts 7 three times already,” Marcy complained.
“No, that was Blood and Guts 5.”
“Blood and Guts 5 we only saw once remember? We were so freaked out that we staied up all night and called Zack?”
“He was so tired.”
“I just remember how mad he was at us.”
By the time Suzie had to take Robby to his birthday party, the girls still hadn’t decided on a movie, but Marcy had promised to rade her cabinets for snacks. Her parents always bought more than enough snacks for their daughter and any of her friends to eat when they were over.
Suzie did laundry, cleaned the house, made sure there was plenty to drink, then she called Zack. Marcy came first ringing the doorbell at 6:30. She had an armful of snacks and a girl named liz from work with her. Zack showed up some 15 minutes later with just himself.
“So do we know what we’re watching?” Zack asked.
“Suzie and I never made it that far,” Marcy told him.
“How about Blood and Guts 4 then,” Suzie suggested.
“That was the worst movie I have ever watched,” Zack complained.
“No way,” Suzie objected. “ Blood and Guts 4 was awesome! That’s why we were so anxious to go see 5.”
Zack shuttered, and Marcy changed the subject.
“How about we don’t watch something that’s going to send our sugar-crazed brains in to LSD nightmares.”
Everyone stared at her.
“Let’s put all the movies in a bag and just pick one at random,” Suzie suggested. “Liz can pick first.”
“Just make sure none of the B and G movies are in there,” Zack put in.
“Once the movie was in, everyone settled down and began snacking.
“Hey can we order pizza?” Liz said suddenly.”
“Oo yeah, let’s order some pizza,” Suzie agreed.
“As long as it’s not from dino’s,” Zack said.
“But I love Dino’s,” Suzie pouted.”
“Doesn’t Johnson’s make a really good pizza?” Marcy put in.
“Didn’t the health department shut them down?” Zack asked.
“Let’s make our own pizza,” Suzie suggested. “It can’t be that hard.”
“I don’t know that’s such a good idea,” Zack hesitated.
“Oh come on,” Suzie said going in to the kitchen. “It’ll be fun.”
After the dough had been set in the oven to rise, they all went back in the living room to continue the movie. They were about half way through the second movie before anyone remembered the dough.
“Hey wasn’t the dough only supposed to rise for an hour?” Asked Liz.
“Shoot! You’re right! I’ll go,”Suzie said.
“No it’s ok,” Liz interrupted, “I don’t mind.”
She got up and went in to the kitchen; they could hear the sound of the oven being opened. Then Liz call to them.
“Hey guys, is it su …”
“What did she say?” Suzie asked.
Zack and Marcy both shrugged, but Marcy got up to go check. After ten minutes Suzie poked Zack’s arm.
“They’ve been in there really long and I don’t hear anything,” she said. You think everything’s alright?”
“You want me to go check?” Zack asked.
“No, I’ll do it.”
Seconds later Suzie came running back in to the living room, a look of horror on her face.
“Zack there’s a giant ball of dough in the kitchen and I think it ate Liz and Marcy!”
“Suzie,” Zack said calmly, “This is why we don’t let you watch scary movies.”
Rather than try to explain, Suzie grabbed Zack’s arm and pulled him off the couch and to the kitchen.
Coming out of what had once been the kitchen door was a doughy mass of a thing;alive and on the move.
“I think they’re in there,” Suzie pointed.
Zack put his hand to his forehead.
“Not again. Suzie, when you looked up that recipe for pizza dough, what did it say?”
“Oh the monster pizza dough recipe?”
Zack’s voice was quiet.
“Monster pizza dough.”
“Suzie, think about what you just said.”
“So you believe me then?”
In answer, Zack grabbed Suzie’s hand and fled the fast approaching ball of dough.
“You think it’ll eat the house?” Suzie panted as they tore down the street.
“Forget the house; let’s just worry about getting out of here!”
“But we have to fix it!”
Zack’s mother was in the kitchen when he and Suzie burst through the door. She looked up at them and smiled.
“Oh hello Suzie. What are the two of you up to?”
“You wouldn’t believe us,” Zack answered.
His mother put her head on one side.
“Suzie wanted to make pizza so she looked up the recipe for pizza dough only it was some kind of monster pizza dough and then it ate Marcy and her friend and now it’s chasing us.”
You’re right.”
When his mother had walked away shaking her head, Suzie turned to Zack.
“Well now what do we do?”
“Heck if I know; you guys are the ones who made the pizza dough. What even goes in to pizza dough besides flour?”
“Yeast, and salt, and water … water! Zack water!”
“You said water already.”
“No, I mean I bet if we add more water it’ll all just fall apart.”
“And how?”
“The hose. Come on, we have to get back to my house before it escapes.”
They made it back just as the dough ball was oozing out of the back door. Suzie stood ready with the hose while Zack kept watch. When the ball cleared the door and had ooz rolled nearly in to the middle of the back yard, Suzie blasted it.
Liz and Marcy were soking and slime-covered by the time they were visible again. Marcy glared at her best friend.
“We are never making anything from that website again.”
“That was awesome!” Liz cried as she shivered.
They all stared at her.
“Are all your parties like this?”
They all kept staring.
“So,” Suzie ventured, “who wants to help clean up?”
They all lay sprawled in various parts of the living room when Suzie’s parents walked through the door along with Robbie.
“Hey,” Suzie said lifting her head when her mother looked in. “You weren’t supposed to be back till tomorrow. What happened?”
“Oh, Robbie got sick and they called us. It’s ok though, we’ll go another weekend.“
“Are your friends hungry?” asked Suzie’s dad. “We could order pizza.”
The four teenagers shouted at once.



What, did you think I had disappeared again?
Silly you.
I’ve just finished writing a story that I originally wanted to share with you, but then I realised I hadn’t ever posted the story that comes before it. So I will do that now, and you can have the other one later.
This story started off as a joke, but I enjoyed the characters so much that I decided to do more with them.

Zack frowned at his girlfriend.
“Shut up,” Suzie replied. “I do not eat too many jellybeans, and I’m not going to stop anytime soon.”
She dropped the bag of jellybeans into her basket and eyed the skittles.
Zack shrugged and headed for the frozen food isle.
“Get me a vanilla ice cream too?” Suzie called.
Suzie sat in her living room, her little brother and the dog snuggled against her sides, a bowl of ice cream with jellybeans in front of her. Every now and again the dog’s head would drift toward the jellybeans, and Suzie would push him back.
“Why do you like jellybeans so much?” Robby asked.
“Because they’re pretty and colorful and they can taste like anything,” Suzie answered.
“Anything?” Robby’s eyes were wide as he looked up at his sister. “Chocolate?”
Suzie picked out a chocolate jellybean and handed it to him.
“Blueberry? Banana?”
“Mmn, not in the pack I just bought, but yes.”
“Can I eat jellybeans with vanilla ice cream?”
“Of course; go get a bowl and I will educate you.”
Long hours after her brother had gone to sleep, Suzie sat cross-legged on her bed surfing the internet. The half full bag of jellybeans leaned against her knee. Her best friend Marcy Reindeer was going on about how some girl at work had started making fun of her name and asking if it were really Raindeer.
“And I swear,” She typed, “if one more of those little snotty kids makes fun of my name …,
“Can’t you get a different job if you hate kids so much?” Suzie interrupted.
“=O I don’t hate kids! I like Robby. How is the little booger?”
“I am educating him on jellybeans :-)”
“Lol. Suzie ur crazy obsessed.”
“Lol. Pretty sure Zack thinks so too.”
“u should plant a few &c if they’ll grow a bean stock lol.”
“u r nuts Marce.”
“Yeah, bedtime for me. gn.”
“gn :-)”
But Suzie continued to internet surf until she fell asleep.
She was never sure what woke her. One minute her laptop screen had begun to look blurry and the next thing she knew, she was lying across the middle of her bed on her side. She rolled over and heard a crinkling sound. Her hand brushed some spilled jellybeans. Then, knowing she was not going to fall back asleep any time soon, Suzie got up and headed into the bathroom.
She hadn’t wanted to wake her family on her late night excursion, so hadn’t turned on any lights. As she felt her way back down the hall, she stopped short. She hadn’t remembered closing her door. Her foot brushed a collection of small, roundish somethings. She kicked them away, thinking they must be some of Robby’s marbles. Suzie turned the knob and was met by an avalanche of jellybeans
She squeaked, stumbled backwards and yanked her phone out of her pocket. She began dialing frantically.
“Zachary this is not funny!” She half whispered, half shouted.
Zack’s voice came back sleepy and confused.
“I have no idea what you’re talking about.”
“You didn’t fill my room with jellybeans?”
There was silence on the other end.
“Suzie, think about what you just said.”
Suzie shrieked as more jellybeans hit her legs.
“Gees, I’m awake now,” Came Zacks dry reply. “What’s wrong?”
“Ok maybe you didn’t do it, but my room is full of jellybeans and they’re spilling out into the hallway.”
Zack sighed.
“give me a sec,” he said, then disconnected.
Suzie went into the bathroom, shut the door behind her and opened the window. In about ten minutes, Zack climbed through. He stared at Suzie. She was dressed in her t-shirt and shorts from that day, but they looked as though she had fallen asleep in them. Her hair had been pulled out of its tale and stuck up in places. She was still clutching her cell phone.
“Should we get plastic bags and just start picking them up?” He asked.
“Yeah … let’s do that,” Suzie agreed.
They pulled open the bathroom door, and immediately jellybeans began spilling in.
“What the?” Zack said, jumping back.
“You see?” came Suzie’s whisper as she backed in to him.
Zack slammed the door, crushing several jellybeans in the process.
“Do you think that’ll make them mad?”
Zack stared down at the top of Suzie’s head for so long that she finally looked up at him.
“You watch too much TV,” he told her. “Are your parents still out?”
“Yeah, It’s just me and Robby here. Oh my gosh Robby! Do you think he’ll be ok?”
“As long as he doesn’t open his door. But we can’t stay here, come on.”
Zack pulled the bathroom door open and waded through the flood of jellybeans that surged forward.
“What are you doing? You have a plan?” Suzie asked, holding the back of Zack’s shirt.
“No, but we’ve gotta do something. It started in your room, right?”
”Yeah, I think so.”
By now the jellybeans were up to their knees as they made their way down the hallway to Suzie’s room. Zack pushed the door wider and another wave of jellybeans flowed out, hitting them in the legs. Suzie squeaked. The Jellybeans clearly weren’t coming from outside somewhere, because as Zack had helpfully pointed out, all the windows were closed. There was also clearly nothing falling through the ceiling from the attic.
“My bag!” Suzie said suddenly.
Zack was silent.
“My bag of jellybeans. I had nearly finished It before I went to sleep, but when I woke up I remember a bunch had spilled out.”
“So they’re spilling out of the bag and invading your house?”
But Suzie was now searching through the mound of jellybeans on her bed and didn’t answer. With a triumphant flourish, Suzie pulled the once empty jellybean bag from among the mound. Impossibly, it was pouring jellybeans from some kind of invisible bottomless supply. Seconds ticked by, as Zack and Suzie just stared. Then Suzie held the bag by its bottom corners and ripped it in half.
“Nice Suzie, now there’re two of them,” Zack commented.
Twin streams flowed from the halves as Suzie held them.
“It’s like a tick. How do you kill ticks?”
“I don’t really think that’ll help stop the jellybeans.” Zack took one of the bag halves and stared at it. Then he began to pull the sealed bottom edge apart.
Suzie watched him, her eyebrows raised. Then the jellybeans stopped. The last few dribbled out, but no more poured out as they had been doing. Quickly Suzie did the same to her half, and soon the flow of jellybeans from her bag stopped as well.
“Well,” said Zack finally, “Now we’ve just gotta figure out how to get rid of all these jellybeans.”
Suzie, Zack and Marcy Raindeer lay stretched out in the sun, their expressions queasy, their stomachs full. The dog was off a ways, puking rainbows and whimpering.
“I don’t know how you put up with her, Zack,” Marcy said.
“Sometimes,” Zack said, “I wonder myself.”
Suzie merely groaned. “I never want to see another jellybean again in my life.”