blast the infernal machine anyway!

Hello all!Posting from the android again. Did I tell you I got a new computer? Well I did and it’s pretty cute, but it turns out I can’t really use the interwebs. Boo!
Anyhow, I will try to be back with more stories and randomness when I can; likely when I pull out my old glitchy but still functional computer.
Le sigh.

Musings On Root Beer

I used to love Root Beer.
Well, I still do actually, but it’s no longer my favorite soda, as it once was. But I used to drink it all the time. It was one of the few things everyone actually got right about me. I wanted a soda, I got root beer; except of course when there wasn’t any, in which case I drank whatever else was there. I’m not picky about soda, but if I have the choice. . .
I can’t say I ever really enjoyed root beer flavored candy however. Something about the taste just doesn’t feel the same for me.I don’t hate it, I just don’t love or even prefer it. Like I said though, I’m not picky. I’ve never pretended to be any kind of root beer aficionado. I can’t sit here and try to tell you that I think one root beer is superior to another, because frankly I don’t know. I don’t mean to say there is no difference, I just mean I don’t pay enough attention. There are only a few times in my life when I bother to check brands, and that’s when one tastes markably different to me. For example if you like Lucky Charms, do not buy the store brand.
In any case, I haven’t yet met a root beer I completely disliked the taste of, so I just don’t pay attention. There’s also the small matter that I’m not usually the one buying so really I can’t go complaining.
All that being said, I will make one point, root beer tastes much better in a glass. Even if it’s cold, a can really just isn’t the way to go.
Cold dark bubbly sticky sweet root beer, yum.

Just Ignore The Giggling

Dear supermarket,
I am sorry. I am sorry for all the trouble we caused and the people we injured. I am very sorry to the people who were sideswiped by the child-driven cart, and I am especially sorry to the little old lady. We sincerely hope your arm heals well.
Yes, the adorable twins dancing the cha cha slide in the middle of the isle were ours. Don’t worry, no eggs were broken. And to those people who came after us, we know nothing of the now flat squushy cheeses; perhaps they came that way? Insodently we also have no idea why anyone would have imagined there were yelling monkey children climbing all over the outside of the building.
Oh, and about the bears …
WHERE!?

Not Death

awh look, she’s come back
Hey now.
after nearly ten days of abandonment, she’s decided to come crawling back
It was not intentional I sware!
i’m sure your readers had quite given up on you
If you’ll kindly shut up, I have fun things to tell my very forgiving readers
you only hope they are

Ahem. So hi … Yes, I know, it’s been a week. It’s been more than a week. I shall write a sincere appology soon. I just haven’t had much to share, you know?
So tomorrow is the big turkey day and everywhere people are cooking, or talking about cooking, or can’t wait to eat someone elses cooking. Unless you are new here –in which case welcome, and yes I do sometimes argue with my inner voice in different colors– you know this isn’t a food blog. I don’t pretend it’s a food blog though I like cooking and talk about it from time to time. Where there are food posts in the Vienna Woods, there is usually some form of injury recounted for you in humorous fashion.

Let’s Go Trippin

And now, without further ado, My Sunday!
Yes it is like a month later … hush.

On sunday my good friend and I went to see none other than Dick dale. He is old, it was awesome
We met some very interesting people and at first, my friend and I thought were going to be the only people there under 30. Also I am so glad we wore earplugs!
The concert was actually really fun and Dick himself was pretty funny, but he has these tank things that are basically home-made amps and man can they put out noise! At first I didn’t think the earplugs were doing much, but then I started to pull one out … yeah, I was glad we had them.
I can’t say anything really spectacular happened while we were there, it was the being there that was awesome. Oh, and of course the music itself. We were pretty much right up on the stage, my friend and I.
If you don’t know who dick dale is, you might at least know his music — or the popular Black-Eye Peas song that used his most famous tune.
Here’s the original:

Yeah, we saw that guy!

For the Safety Of Everyone

Someone may have once told me that I should come with warning labels.
Likely this is true, since few people know me well enough to recognize my more dangerous moods. Is that my fault? Perhaps, but if I have mentioned it bugs me, some time in the past, then you probably shouldn’t keep doing it.
I think part of my problem is that I say nothing and hope people will recognize things on their own. I don’t mean really obscure things, like Oh I was hoping from the way I poored my milk today that you would notice I wanted a Christmas tree, I mean the kind of stuff that people can usually recognize as a problem. Except they don’t. So I present here for you — who will most likely never need it– a list of things that are sure to annoy me.
LOUD NOISE
If it’s not something a person can help, then whatever. But excessively loud music always annoys me. I mean there are reasons I don’t frequent clubs, and I’d like you not to bring them to me. I like a good bass as much as the next person, more even, but I don’t need my body to pulse for hours afterward. Typically if I ask you to turn it down, cringe, cover my ears or leave the room–all of which I will do, Well there’s your sign. Also, if I can hear your music from my bedroom while you are outside in your car with the windows up, it’s too loud. Why anyone would go happily deaf like that I’ll never understand.
NOT COVERING FOOD
Do I even really need to explain why this annoys me? And this ladies and gentlemen is why laziness kills. If you are too lazy or just don’t feel like covering your food, or closing the containers even in the fridge, then you are not aloud to complain when your food goes bad quicker or you get sick from food poisoning. By the way, I have heard both reasons before.
CLOSING THE DOOR
I know I have mentioned this one before. Yes, she is still leaving it open most days, but that’s not even the worst part now. I really wish she’d just say I’d rather leave the door open or something, instead of appearing to respect my wish of having it closed. I typically close it after she has already gone to sleep, since she figures I will be up at some point later to do that anyway. Well yeah, because you didn’t.
Anyway, This morning, they had a whole argument/discussion while I was “asleep” with the door wide open. I mean, it was 7 in the morning, I don’t think it’s unusual for me to be sleeping at that hour. Of course it woke me up–they always do. I know you don’t have time to close the door, but if you’re going to stand around and argue could you be quieter about it please? But this is where I typically don’t say anything and keep “Sleeping,” hoping someone will make a connection. I know, I expect too much. She typically closes the door after the argument or loud conversation or laugh session is over.
thanks so much for thinking of me darling
One day I will just get up and club them all.
I just generally don’t like being woken up by inconsideration. I mean if your alarm goes off and it wakes me, I might be annoied initially, but not for very long. On the other hand, if I wake up because you have the TV on way too loud, I am likely to silently plan your ultimate demise.
REPLACING TOILETPAPER
Um, didn’t we all learn as children to do this, or at least from one too many sit coms why it’s a good practice? Does this really need to be said? If you use the last of the toiletpaper and there are more rolls somewhere in the bathroom. . . For real,are we incapable now?
just tired from work and/or didn’t have time.

So that’s at least 4. I know, I am all kinds of unreasonable to expect these things of others.
I can dream can’t I? — Probably not, since she’ll only leave the door open anyway.

Safety and Survival Cooking

First, a note here;
I have given Georgy up for insane. She wants winter! She keeps going on and on about how she wants winter and how she hates summer. So of course, when it is frosty cold in the dead of winter and Snow is keeping everyone from leaving their houses and she can’t wear her cute clothes because no one will see them, If I once hear her complain, I will beat her!

You are home, hungry, there is food in the house but you are at a los for what to make. Do I have a solution for you. Just stick here, and I shall teach you things.
First, gather a few things together Whatever’s etible and seems a good mix. I know what you’re thinking, Stop thinking it and just keep reading.
If you like, throw in some spices and then you’re ready to cook it all up.
If you are unfamiliar with cooking on whim, Just scramble everything around with a spatula until the smoke detector goes off. If your foodd turns black or if you collapse from smoke inhalation instead, you should make sure to change your smoke alarm as soon as you regain consciousness.
Eat, enjoy, live another day. Please make sure your smoke detector is in good working order.