Step 1: Order a pizza

This is very important. Just order a pizza. You can’t get Chinese; that’s a post for another time. And if you’re wondering what kind, just go nuts. They’ll think you are anyway.

Step 2: Throw on your winter Cloak.

You know, the one you’ve put away for the summer and is buried in your closet. Don’t ask why. It was unrelated.

Step 3: Put on your shades

This is so you won’t have to spend five minutes looking for them when the door bell rings.

Step 4: Find someone in your house to have a conversation with

Actually you can do just about whatever here; just so long as you are distracted.

Step 5: Answer the door for the pizza you’ve forgotten about

Thank you for choosing Domino’s … uuummm?