Posts tagged ‘pizza’

How to Make the Pizza Delivery Man Think You’re a Loon

Step 1: Order a pizza

This is very important. Just order a pizza. You can’t get Chinese; that’s a post for another time. And if you’re wondering what kind, just go nuts. They’ll think you are anyway.

Step 2: Throw on your winter Cloak.

You know, the one you’ve put away for the summer and is buried in your closet. Don’t ask why. It was unrelated.

Step 3: Put on your shades

This is so you won’t have to spend five minutes looking for them when the door bell rings.

Step 4: Find someone in your house to have a conversation with

Actually you can do just about whatever here; just so long as you are distracted.

Step 5: Answer the door for the pizza you’ve forgotten about

Thank you for choosing Domino’s … uuummm?


How Not to Make Pizza Dough

A little late for the holliday, but I have for you a story!
Remember Zack and Suzie, that crazy couple I shared with you back in June? Well if you don’t, you can just follow the tags.
But for now, without further ado, I give you the story.

“So let me get this straight, your parents are having a get-away weekend, Robby’s going to a birthday party, and he won’t be back until tomorrow afternoon? What time does the party start?”
Suzie laughed. She and her best friend, Marcy Raindeer lay stretched across Marcy’s living room floor eating bowls of cereal and flipping through pages of a magazine, while Robby rode his bike up and down the street just outside.
“I say we have a movie night,” Suzie suggested.
“I’m game. What should we watch?”
“Blood and Guts 7.”
“No-o, We’ve seen Blood and Guts 7 three times already,” Marcy complained.
“No, that was Blood and Guts 5.”
“Blood and Guts 5 we only saw once remember? We were so freaked out that we staied up all night and called Zack?”
“He was so tired.”
“I just remember how mad he was at us.”
By the time Suzie had to take Robby to his birthday party, the girls still hadn’t decided on a movie, but Marcy had promised to rade her cabinets for snacks. Her parents always bought more than enough snacks for their daughter and any of her friends to eat when they were over.
Suzie did laundry, cleaned the house, made sure there was plenty to drink, then she called Zack. Marcy came first ringing the doorbell at 6:30. She had an armful of snacks and a girl named liz from work with her. Zack showed up some 15 minutes later with just himself.
“So do we know what we’re watching?” Zack asked.
“Suzie and I never made it that far,” Marcy told him.
“How about Blood and Guts 4 then,” Suzie suggested.
“That was the worst movie I have ever watched,” Zack complained.
“No way,” Suzie objected. “ Blood and Guts 4 was awesome! That’s why we were so anxious to go see 5.”
Zack shuttered, and Marcy changed the subject.
“How about we don’t watch something that’s going to send our sugar-crazed brains in to LSD nightmares.”
Everyone stared at her.
“Let’s put all the movies in a bag and just pick one at random,” Suzie suggested. “Liz can pick first.”
“Just make sure none of the B and G movies are in there,” Zack put in.
“Once the movie was in, everyone settled down and began snacking.
“Hey can we order pizza?” Liz said suddenly.”
“Oo yeah, let’s order some pizza,” Suzie agreed.
“As long as it’s not from dino’s,” Zack said.
“But I love Dino’s,” Suzie pouted.”
“Doesn’t Johnson’s make a really good pizza?” Marcy put in.
“Didn’t the health department shut them down?” Zack asked.
“Let’s make our own pizza,” Suzie suggested. “It can’t be that hard.”
“I don’t know that’s such a good idea,” Zack hesitated.
“Oh come on,” Suzie said going in to the kitchen. “It’ll be fun.”
After the dough had been set in the oven to rise, they all went back in the living room to continue the movie. They were about half way through the second movie before anyone remembered the dough.
“Hey wasn’t the dough only supposed to rise for an hour?” Asked Liz.
“Shoot! You’re right! I’ll go,”Suzie said.
“No it’s ok,” Liz interrupted, “I don’t mind.”
She got up and went in to the kitchen; they could hear the sound of the oven being opened. Then Liz call to them.
“Hey guys, is it su …”
“What did she say?” Suzie asked.
Zack and Marcy both shrugged, but Marcy got up to go check. After ten minutes Suzie poked Zack’s arm.
“They’ve been in there really long and I don’t hear anything,” she said. You think everything’s alright?”
“You want me to go check?” Zack asked.
“No, I’ll do it.”
Seconds later Suzie came running back in to the living room, a look of horror on her face.
“Zack there’s a giant ball of dough in the kitchen and I think it ate Liz and Marcy!”
“Suzie,” Zack said calmly, “This is why we don’t let you watch scary movies.”
Rather than try to explain, Suzie grabbed Zack’s arm and pulled him off the couch and to the kitchen.
Coming out of what had once been the kitchen door was a doughy mass of a thing;alive and on the move.
“I think they’re in there,” Suzie pointed.
Zack put his hand to his forehead.
“Not again. Suzie, when you looked up that recipe for pizza dough, what did it say?”
“Oh the monster pizza dough recipe?”
Zack’s voice was quiet.
“Monster pizza dough.”
“Suzie, think about what you just said.”
“So you believe me then?”
In answer, Zack grabbed Suzie’s hand and fled the fast approaching ball of dough.
“You think it’ll eat the house?” Suzie panted as they tore down the street.
“Forget the house; let’s just worry about getting out of here!”
“But we have to fix it!”
Zack’s mother was in the kitchen when he and Suzie burst through the door. She looked up at them and smiled.
“Oh hello Suzie. What are the two of you up to?”
“You wouldn’t believe us,” Zack answered.
His mother put her head on one side.
“Suzie wanted to make pizza so she looked up the recipe for pizza dough only it was some kind of monster pizza dough and then it ate Marcy and her friend and now it’s chasing us.”
You’re right.”
When his mother had walked away shaking her head, Suzie turned to Zack.
“Well now what do we do?”
“Heck if I know; you guys are the ones who made the pizza dough. What even goes in to pizza dough besides flour?”
“Yeast, and salt, and water … water! Zack water!”
“You said water already.”
“No, I mean I bet if we add more water it’ll all just fall apart.”
“And how?”
“The hose. Come on, we have to get back to my house before it escapes.”
They made it back just as the dough ball was oozing out of the back door. Suzie stood ready with the hose while Zack kept watch. When the ball cleared the door and had ooz rolled nearly in to the middle of the back yard, Suzie blasted it.
Liz and Marcy were soking and slime-covered by the time they were visible again. Marcy glared at her best friend.
“We are never making anything from that website again.”
“That was awesome!” Liz cried as she shivered.
They all stared at her.
“Are all your parties like this?”
They all kept staring.
“So,” Suzie ventured, “who wants to help clean up?”
They all lay sprawled in various parts of the living room when Suzie’s parents walked through the door along with Robbie.
“Hey,” Suzie said lifting her head when her mother looked in. “You weren’t supposed to be back till tomorrow. What happened?”
“Oh, Robbie got sick and they called us. It’s ok though, we’ll go another weekend.“
“Are your friends hungry?” asked Suzie’s dad. “We could order pizza.”
The four teenagers shouted at once.

Weekend Ahoy!

Looks like I’m heading for another full weekend.
Fortunately, this time I have my cell phone. For now, I am on a quest to make amazing pizza!
I love pizza.
I adore pizza.
Pizza is the happy food of my soul!
And now since I have a new pizza stone, I must make pizza! And none of that premade stuff either. I plan to go all out and make it from scratch. More updates when that actually happens.
Oh, about my weekend, I am keeping my joy beads close for now.

What The Furries Are Up To

After I got back, This is how my day went.

Panther! Panther get off the box. Don’t step on the pizza box.
No Panther get out of the pizza box.
Bunny? No, don’t step on the pizza box. Yes Bunny, that is my head you’re now walking on … ouch?
Yes Bunny of course I think you’re adorable, but I can’t keep typing one-handed. I need my arm back. I know that’s where the sun is.
Bunny? Bunny ouch my arm … I need that back.
Panther Why are you licking my nuckle?

Panther is large and black. Bunny is tiny, is dark enough brown to look black and has a particularly rabbit like way of sitting.

We have waltzes, They Have Pizza

The Cicilians I mean.
But this post isn’t really about Cicilians exactly.
This is just to say … that although I have not eaten any plums, the post I was originally going to put up to day will have to be posted tomorrow or sunday.
I am off now for grand and whild adventures
Here now, read and enjoy. It is one of my more family friendly stories. Read more…